If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
They left me at home... I'm a liability
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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