i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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