so that wasnt chicken after all
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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