Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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