When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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