Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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