Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
