Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize