Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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