i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
