its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
