Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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