Do vagina's smell?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I touched a dick in church today
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
