woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
