I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
