similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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