worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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