Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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