he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
