you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize