We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
