found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He has the fingertips of a God
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