i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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