Cold hands, warm shart.
they need to just BURY HIM!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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