Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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