Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
