that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
