also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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