we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
