i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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