She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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