508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
