You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize