i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
