Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
