he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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