Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
