dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
