i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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