why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
