I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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