We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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