Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
