If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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