You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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