yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
