I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
