Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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