I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
