I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize