you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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