from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
