dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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