Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
