I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
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He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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