Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
