the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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