Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
