No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I faked an abortion last night.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
