We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
