It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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