Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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